MY HELPLESSNESS

Ouseph Palliparambil was brought from Thuravoor by my great grandfather to carry on the business of   extracting coconut oil. An oil-presser was used to extract coconut oil from copra. His son, Kurien, took over the business.  He married Annamma and had a few children. People in the locality used to say that they are a nice couple; and their life was going smoothly. Jacob and I used to visit the oil-presser occasionally.

All on a sudden Kurien’s son, Anthappan, became insane. Kurien’s heart thundered hard at the thought of his son. The family kept it a closely guarded secret. When he started to become violent Kurien and his wife Annamma approached ‘Appachan,’ my father, to seek his advice on what is to be done. I vividly recall their arrival; his hair tousled, shirt open; he was sore and had not slept a wink. My eyes took in Kurian then darted to his wife, Annamma, who was fragile and haggard with longing for her son. She was biting the edge of her towel loosely thrown over her body to keep herself from bursting into tears. She said, “Did we abandon the Lord and that explained the tribulations that were being inflicted upon us.” She wanted to say something more but her words choked as if a lump in her throat.

After carefully ascertaining the facts from Kurien and Annamma, Appachan had a flurry of consultations with his doctor, and then ‘Appachan’ arranged to send their son to a Psychiatrist at Ernakulum. Months and years passed by. Since there was no progress in his mental state, his parents took him to the Ayurvedic Physician at Kumbalam for consultation. In spite of having the medicines prescribed by him there was no encouraging result seen. Sanku, the trusted aide of my Appachan said, “Life is not always perfect. Like a road, it has many bends, ups and downs, but that’s its beauty.”

          One morning when Jacob and I went to Kurien’s house, we noticed Anthappan lying in the courtyard. He opened his mouth and drooled. We spotted a coconut trunk buried in the soil next to him. One of his legs was put into a hole made out in the trunk and the hole sealed by hammering a wedge. By doing so he could not remove his leg on his own thereby making him immobile. This was done to curb his violent nature triggered occasionally by his insanity. On seeing us he called out to us in a mournful voice, “‘Mone’, dear son, please remove the wedge so that I could be free.” Then he started crying in an eerie voice for a minute. Suddenly a ghostly smile creased on his sullen face. Next moment he became quieter than a lamb. Then a pall of gloom surfaced on his face and he sank into a reverie. We felt very sorry for him. We were so helpless. He could not eat or drink or even attend to his morning chores comfortably. We reported the matter immediately to ‘Ammachi’ and in turn to‘Appachan’. ‘Appachan’ was pacing up and down the length of the room. Suddenly he stopped, having made up his mind, and he sent word for Kurien who came, remained silent. ‘Appachan’ reached out and touched Kutien lightly on his shoulder. Kurien, his voice breaking, tried to justify his action. He scratched his head in despair, and then riveted his eyes on the ceiling and his lips were quivering. He said, “He did not want to dump the responsibility of looking after his son on government hospitals or other mental asylum.” He found no other way of keeping him in restraint so he had to resort to this crude form. Kurien, so fragile, his lips quivered at its edges when he said, “He wanted to look after Anthappan himself.” I noticed tears swelling in Kurien’s eyes. Finally he agreed to bind him to a long iron chain so that he gets a little more freedom. ‘Appachan’ said, “The end justifies the means.” Kurien did it in good faith and with good intentions. Anthappan was totally frustrated and sought our help to free him again. It was neither fair nor proper to restrain his freedom of movement but everybody was helpless in the matter. Before long, God Almighty helped him escape the bondages of life through his premature death.

I had occasion to see other insane people, I have seen epileptic eruptions too. I saw an epileptic patient, who shrieked and fell down on his face; and frothing at the mouth.

I realized that people preferred to hide insanity and epileptic disorders from public notice. They were apprehensive about the after effects of it being made public mainly in connection with the future of the other children in the family. There was an element of fear and anxiety of not obtaining a suitable marriage alliance for their children especially in the case of their girl children. They were worried and frightened that they would be ostracized from the society. It is the duty of the government and the society to make people aware that these illnesses are curable, if checked out at the right time. These patients are to be advised to get proper medical care and attention, when they show the primary symptoms of the illness. 

Nowadays, medical expenses are very prohibitive. Therefore, it is the duty of the government to provide free medical care and attention to such patients.

Excerpts from

MEMOIRS

An autobiography

by

Joseph J. Thayamkeril

Lawyer, Kochi, Kerala, India.

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